Sunday, September 24, 2017

Ted's Run for Literacy, Race Report, a Guest Blog by Donald J. Trump

We are going to have an unbelievable, perhaps record-setting turnout for Ted's Run for Litracee, and there will be plenty of movie and entertainment stars. All the running stores are sold out in Winnipeg. It’s hard to find a great pair of shorts for this race.”

Donald J. Trump

"Ted's Run for Literacy is great, no one knows this better than me"
Donald J Trump
photo credit Tim MacKay
This is the best race in the free world.  It's the biggest, the fanciest and I ought-a know. I run a lot.  I don't want to be bragadacious but I'm fast, very fast. I ran for president and I came in first... ha, ha.. sorry Hillary you lost! I'm great, you're not.

Jon Torchia thinks he's great, but he's not. He's not even a little bit great. His little WFPS Half's not even a full marathon... It's a not great. It's small. So small. And it's not good.  

The Manitoba Marathon is not great. Rachel Munday calls herself a race director. Rachel is not great.  She can't even spell Monday, and it's her name!  How not great is that? Rachel Monday is not litrat. It's small, her event, so small. And tiny too, like my hands.  Hillary likes small things so she should run The Manitoba Marathon. It's not great.

I want to make litracee great again. I think everyone, even the Mexicans should read boks. I'm Hemingway with tweets and stuff.  I think Mexicans are great.  I get along great with the Mexicans.  

Ted's Run for Litracee is great and See Mike Run is great. He's a great race director... so much better than Jon and miss-kant-spell-her-name. He's litrat... I tweet his blogs all the time. He's a good reder too. He's like glue, krazy glue, that holds this race together.  He's so great!

My people say ...and we we had drones in the sky... there were 20,000 to 25,000 runners in the 5 km event and another 40,000 in the 10 km... eat that Jon and miss-kant-spell-your-own name-Monday... you're so not great!

That MEC Race over at Birds Hill Park, it rained. It rained uge. Lightning and thunder.  It was bad.  Really, really bad.  Everyone hated it.  They're not great. Ted's Run for Litracee had blue skies and sunshine. Everyone was dry.  MEC was ugly, really, really ugly. So much thunder and rain. People were dying everywhere. 

Who's Ted?  I'm sure he's great, but is he really great? He's just a teacehr, a baby sitter really. He's FIRED! I have millions of tweets asking me to take charge... "okay, okay" I tweet back "I'll do it" ... I'll change the name to Donald Trumps Run for Litracee. I'll bring Mexicans and other people like them... you know crooks, drug dealers, and prostitutes. They need to be litrit and know one knows this better than me.  

It's a good day to alive... you listening Kim Jong-un... 

Donald J Trump
President of The United Sates of America

Editor's Note: This blog is intended as satire. The 'real' author holds Jon Torchia of the Winnipeg Fire Paramedic Half Marathon, Rachel Munday of the The Manitoba Marathon, and the MEC Race Series in the highest esteem. They are, and continue to be, leaders in our community.  MB

Saturday, September 16, 2017

Street Feet Run Well, Point Douglas Race Report

Waldo, Intrepid Reporter, and Mickey.... hanging out in Point Douglas.
Photo credit Bridgette Robinson.
There is something in the air around the Point Douglas Norquay Community Centre that's fresh and energizing.  Maybe it's the lingering smoke from the community oven or perhaps it's the sweet grass blessing, or the musty, mighty Red flowing softly by and by.

Yes, there's something in the air, I can't quite nail it, but it's lovely and welcoming, sweet and warm. I love this neighbourhood, this race, this spirit, I love it openly with all my heart.

"This is how we do it in Point Douglas"
Mwaka Kaonga
"It's the community I love" says Bridgette Robinson "it's what makes me happy." Bridgette is one of five committee members who volunteer tirelessly year round to bring this event to life every September. It's a small event of about 100 participants which raises about $2000. The money is divided equally between the Graffiti Art Program, Norquay Community Centre, and the North Point Douglas Women's Centre.
Point Douglas Women's Resource Centre, 221 Austin
We need to support small, local, independent, non-corporate running events before they are swallowed by large, for-profit events.  I run to support the Women's Centre because it's a beacon of hope in this diamond-in-the-rough neighbourhood.  Our premier (don't get me started) has significantly reduced funding to the centre and it's at risk of closing. A cheque for just under $700 is in the mail from the Point Douglas Race Committee; it's not much, but every cent helps!

Run local, you'll feel good.

This 6th annual Point Douglas run is a true gem.  The course is grand old Winnipeg riverbank and bridges.  We run on mud trails and take short cuts through backyards and back lanes.  The police flash their siren and cheer runners from their cruiser. We bring smiles to locals and startle dogs on leash. Children and adults laugh at Waldo and Mickey and wind blown reporters, brides and bananas... and we run, and we laugh deeply from the belly.

My how we laugh.
And we talk.
And we philosophize.
And we are blessed by elder.
And we wonder.

Oh and the food? It's prepared on site by none other than Talia, owner/ operator of The Tallest Poppy another local independent Winnipeg gem.  Do you need any more reasons to put this race on your radar!  Didn't think so.

North Point Douglas Women's Centre
Vision and Mission Statements. 
So dear friends, please support your local, not-for-profit running events. They add such texture and colour to our neighbourhoods.  And, if you happen to have an extra $20 why not donate it to the North Point Douglas Women's Centre. They really need it and you will feel so damn good. Skip church tomorrow and move your feet.

Yo, it's a good day to be alive.


Sunday, September 10, 2017

Winnipeg Investors Group 10 10 30 2017 Race Report

"Perfect" is the superlative that immediately comes to mind when reflecting on today's annual Winnipeg 10 10 30. Everything ticked and hummed like a BMW convertible cruising the Autobahn.

The course has improved since the last time I ran the 30 km in 2014. The stretch along Sturgeon Creek is spectacular (another superlative... they just keep coming). The best change from my eye is the absence of the annoying 'add on' penalty lap through Assiniboine Park's Formal Garden on the return. I hate penalty laps!

The volunteers were Winnipeg's finest with smiling faces and lots of curbside cheering.  The water stations were located strategically along the 30 km course offering both water and Gatorade.  One station even had some granola bars which really came in handy (thanks Kathy).  Just when I thought, "hmmm I need some hydration", there appeared a group of smiling happy volunteers only too pleased to assist.   The only pet peeve were the teeny plastic cups for water, holding 2 ounces at most.  At every station I had to ask for a second or even a third. This is obviously wasteful and time consuming for the busy runner with his eyes on the prize.

My favourite water station. But what's with all that green?
Photo credit Lorraine Walton

It was also nice to see Steve J managing the timing.  You know the results will be flawless when he's at the timing-helm.  Aldo Furlan managed the back half of the 30 km ensuring things were done right and to his high standard.  Lorraine Walton was busy on the course stocking water stations and providing good cheer and hugs. The lead cyclists and sweeps, Pietra, Bill, Dorothy (and others) were outstanding (loving my superlatives), and kept us safe.

Race Director, Chris Walton, is proving to be an asset in Winnipeg's running community. A complete neophyte several years ago, he now has a solid track record of successful events.  He has a tremendous team behind him, but the buck stops at the race director. Everything from pins to bibs to emergency plans, go through the race director.  It's an onerous task, some say thankless.  Well done Chris... you do us proud.

An open question to Chris;  why do you not kick this course another six kilometers down Sturgeon Creek making it a full marathon course?  Just asking, not to take away from today's incredible (superlative) amazing (another one), magnificent (is that too many) 10 10 & 30.

Oh, the coolest thing about the 30 km course? Carly and I agree it's having a cop stop traffic, even busses, while we tear freely through red lights. Now that's cool!

It's a good day to be alive.