Ted's Run for Literacy, Race Report, a Guest Blog by Donald J. Trump

We are going to have an unbelievable, perhaps record-setting turnout for Ted's Run for Litracee, and there will be plenty of movie and entertainment stars. All the running stores are sold out in Winnipeg. It’s hard to find a great pair of shorts for this race.”


Donald J. Trump

"Ted's Run for Literacy is great, no one knows this better than me"
Donald J Trump
photo credit Tim MacKay

This is the best race in the free world.  It's the biggest, the fanciest and I ought-a know. I run a lot.  I don't want to be bragadacious but I'm fast, very fast. I ran for president and I came in first... ha, ha.. sorry Hillary you lost! I'm great, you're not.

Jon Torchia thinks he's great, but he's not. He's not even a little bit great. His little WFPS Half Marathon...it's not even a full marathon... It's a half-marathon....pwet...is not great. It's small. So small. And it's not good.  

The Manitoba Marathon is not great. Rachel Munday calls herself a race director. Rachel is not great.  She can't even spell Monday, and it's her name!  How not great is that? Rachel Monday is not litrat. It's small, her event, so small. And tiny too, like my hands.  Hillary likes small things so she should run The Manitoba Marathon. It's not great.

I want to make litracee great again. I think everyone, even the Mexicans should read boks. I'm Hemingway with tweets and stuff.  I think Mexicans are great.  I get along great with the Mexicans.  

Ted's Run for Litracee is great and See Mike Run is great. He's a great race director... so much better than Jon and miss-kant-spell-her-name. He's litrat... I tweet his blogs all the time. He's a good reder too. He's like glue, krazy glue, that holds this race together.  He's so great!

My people say ...and we we had drones in the sky... there were 20,000 to 25,000 runners in the 5 km event and another 40,000 in the 10 km... eat that Jon and miss-kant-spell-your-own name-Monday... you're so not great!

That MEC Race over at Birds Hill Park, it rained. It rained uge. Lightning and thunder.  It was bad.  Really, really bad.  Everyone hated it.  They're not great. Ted's Run for Litracee had blue skies and sunshine. Everyone was dry.  MEC was ugly, really, really ugly. So much thunder and rain. People were dying everywhere. 

Who's Ted?  I'm sure he's great, but is he really great? He's just a teacehr, a baby sitter really. He's FIRED! I have millions of tweets asking me to take charge... "okay, okay" I tweet back "I'll do it" ... I'll change the name to Donald Trumps Run for Litracee. I'll bring Mexicans and other people like them... you know crooks, drug dealers, and prostitutes. They need to be litrit and know one knows this better than me.  

It's a good day to alive... you listening Kim Jong-un... 

Donald J Trump
President of The United Sates of America

Editor's Note: This blog is intended as satire. The 'real' author holds Jon Torchia of the Winnipeg Fire Paramedic Half Marathon, Rachel Munday of the The Manitoba Marathon, and the MEC Race Series in the highest esteem. They are, and continue to be, leaders in our community.  MB