I'm in a rut; a Winnipeg in February kind of rut. You know; wheels spinning, gears grinding, hoping for a boost, need a push kind-of-a-rut.
The good doctor made a diagnosis today. Not the one I was hoping for but, oddly I feel better knowing exactly what's happening to my body. I thought at one point it was all in my head.
Turns out it's all in my knee; my right knee to be precise (but I suspect the left one is a little wonky and on borrowed time).
The good doc interpreted my MRI today. It seems I have a hat trick of ailments. I have a torn meniscus, a torn ACL, and ... sh*t ... degenerative arthritis.
The torn ACL stems from a prior tear from nasty trip on a forest gnome in April 2015 (see DNS).
I have given up the large goals of marathon and ultras. I asked my doc if she thought a slow half-marathons was possible in time. Her averted eyes told me no. She then suggested working up to running for an hour at a time. Apparently running for an hour won't cause more damage. In fact, she says it will probably strengthen the knee. On the down side I have to wear one of those ugly bionic braces. On the plus side I have some pain management meds that seem to work well.
Surgery is an option, but I don't want to go that route just yet and neither does the doc.
I don't want to be a Miserable Mikey. I have it good. Hell, I can run for an hour. Some would give anything for that one privilege. I'm not complaining but it's my blog, my rut... I can whine if I want to!
Did someone say wine?
The hurt stems mostly from not being able to run. A large part of my identity is wrapped up in the running community. Not running means the absence of a positive social outlet. Not running means diminished energy. Not running means languishing mental health. Not running means the continual presence of absence. The knee hurts, but the soul does too.
I miss running in the zone where time slows and my mind flows freely.
I miss my Sunday morning trail run with my chatty friend, WD50 ;)
I miss running through the bush of ghosts.
I have discovered Nordic Walking (aka Urban Poling). It's a great upper body workout and it allows me to get out on the trails and build up speed. I would strongly encourage any hurtin' runner out there to work Urban Poling into their recovery plan. There's very little stress and way less pounding on the on the knees. I'll blog a article about Urban Poling soon.
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| Bionic Mike |
It's a good day to be alive.
Mike
